Male mental health and toxic masculinity- The vicious cycle.

In honour of “World Suicide Prevention day” (WSPD)-a day set aside on the 10th of September every year to promote world action to prevent suicides- this article centers on a much-needed discourse surrounding male mental health which is responsible for most suicides commited by men. According to statistics, women are more likely to be diagnosed with depression and to attempt suicide but men are far more likely to die by it. There are a plethora of reasons for this which will be elaborated on in the course of this article.

Discussing male mental health brings to light a myriad of pertinent issues wrong with the status quo, things that we have long come to accept as the norm either due to social conditioning or as a result of other factors. As I mentioned earlier, there are numerous reasons as to why men are more likely to die by suicide albeit women being more likely to attempt it. The undue pressure the patriarchy places on men to “act” or “be”a certain way is a major contribution factor to this.

Most times, when we tend to talk about the current social climate and the“patriarchal”nature of it, the conversation is usually centered around women and how the patriarchy is royally harmful and does women a lot of disservice. This inadvertently leaves men feeling that the prevailing patriarchal system completely favours them which isn’t the truth.

It is easy to presume that the current system favours them in all ramifications(as it looks that way on paper) but in reality it actually does men a great disservice as well. This is quite evident in the statistically backed up looming male mental health crisis. Safe to say, it’s common knowledge that men are less likely to seek for help or talk about mental health related issues due to gender stereotypes or societal pressure to buy into specific ideologies that are traditionally perceived to be associated with masculinity.

This is where the famous or rather infamous term “toxic masculinity” comes into the picture. Toxic masculinity is a popular term used to depict certain warped or exaggerated beliefs associated with what is deemed “acceptable ideals of masculinity”. Even though this term was inspired by a feminist movement, it originated in the mythopoetic men’s movement of the 1980s and the 1990s in the United States. Traditional masculine traits include self-sufficiency, stoicism, competitiveness,assertiveness, toughness etc. These beliefs are in sharp contrast with traditional feminine beliefs where women are perceived to be sensitive, humble, gentle and empathetic beings.

Specific traits associated with toxic masculinity include; the urge to violently dominate everything and everyone else, aggression, misogyny, sexism, homophobia, hypersexuality, an urgent need to suppress valid and legitimate human emotions so as not to be deemed weak by male counterparts etc . The term “toxic masculinity” has been met with some controversy over the years with some people viewing it as the “feminists” strategy to demonize men and as an attack on “manhood” . This is far from the truth as well a misconception.

Male violence and aggression-the ripple effect of years and years of boys and men being trained and socialized to repress and suppress their emotions- has amongst other things given rise to the alarming rate of domestic violence in Nigeria with more women being at the receiving end. It is also responsible for the wide disparity between men and women observed in violent crime statistics with men being over- represented . Although , people try to attribute some of these behaviors to Biology, it is quite evident that socialization or conditioning contributes to it on a larger scale.

The popular “boys will be boys” refrain excuses violent behavior and helps to perpetuate sexual assault and rape culture. When boys and men internalize such messages and are constantly being told to “man up“, “be a man” or that “men don’t cry”, they end up bottling a lot of valid emotions which could lead to a deterioration in their mental health.

Also, the constant need to live up to the unnecessary and unrealistic societal expectations placed on men by virtue of being subject to a patriarchal system is another catalyst for male depression. Toxic masculinity traits, pressure to adhere to traditional masculinity norms as well as these quite “unrealistic expectations” placed on men could lead to depression and if not well managed give way to suicide attempts . It is indeed a vicious cycle.

When some men go through depression, apart from an inability to recognize “depression” in itself, there is also a propensity to refuse to seek help or talk about these feelings with their male counterparts for fear of being viewed as weak. As a result of this, there is a tendency to resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms especially when there is no suitable outlet to channel this emotions or no available means of catharsis. Unhealthy coping mechanisms include excess alcohol consumption, drugs or substance abuse, gambling etc .

It is also important to note that symptoms of depression tend to differ between men and women and this is one of the reasons why depression may be harder to notice or diagnose in men.

Major signs of depression in men include unwarranted aggression, controlling/abusive behavior , excess alcohol consumption or drug dependency, avoidance of family and social settings, engaging in risky behaviors, suicide attempts etc.

Speaking of “suicide attempts”, a significant reason men are more likely to be victim of suicides even though women are more likely to attempt it is the tendency for men to employ violent or more lethal means of committing suicides such as the use of firearms, hanging or asphyxiation as opposed to women who are more often inclined towards less lethal means like the use of pharmacological drugs .

This disposition (by men) towards using more violent or lethal means is also as a result of skewed notions of masculinity that portray personality traits such as aggression and violence as natural/legitimate male behavior. And yes, the patriarchy allows all these to thrive.

Dismantling this prevailing patriarchal system creates a better and less toxic environment for boys and men. It not only creates an equal playing field for both genders but also helps to end years and years of structural oppression aimed at women. It equally takes undue pressure created by societal expectations off the shoulders of young boys and men thereby improving male mental health. This is why I get a little surprised when some men refuse to be associated with feminist movements either because they believe attempts to improve women have become “toxic” efforts that end up undermining men rights or for other reasons.

At this point, feminist movements are the best bet to end/dismantle this patriarchal system that is evidently not only detrimental to women but to boys and men as well . According to studies, in more gender-equal societies, men are less likely to be depressed or commit suicide as opposed to gender-unequal societies where male mental health is poorer . A gender neutral society liberates men and it is important to note that the liberation of men is tied to that of women.

Finally , If you notice any of the personality traits congruent with male depression in men in your life, encourage them to talk about it or seek professional help. It is quite sad that even when Nigerian men decide to move past the stigma associated with seeking for help, they are faced with the problem of an overly limited number of mental health professionals in Nigeria.

We should make a concerted effort to support and fund NGOs such as the Mentally Aware Nigerian Initiative (MANI) that works to create awareness and put an end to the stigma surrounding mental health issues in Nigeria. We should also form and encourage support groups in our schools and workplaces where people feel comfortable and can freely talk about these things devoid of any form of judgement. Also, sex education should be directed majorly towards educating young boys about consent as opposed to enforcing “respectability politics” on the part of women .

Our parents( also subject to a patriarchal system) believed in raising boys a particular way which has in one way or the other contributed to the current state of things. We should strive to do better. Also, human beings create culture and a culture/system thrives because the humans that establish that system allow it to . The patriarchy is man-made and not natural and the existence of matriarchal societies attests to this. The fact that humans created this system means that It is not permanent and therefore subject to change. That change begins with us!